Occupation: Mom

I've officially been a stay-at-home mom now for four weeks. I have to remind myself of the burden I don't have of my IBM job. Isn't that the way life is? Although it's hard to grasp the full sweetness of my new position, it has most definitely still been sweet.
The first couple of weeks were a transition. I was physically exhausted at the end of the day, but mentally ready to run a marathon. As time goes on, I am adjusting and adapting, and now both my body and mind are ready for rest when night falls. I think the adjusting--changing is the better word--is the one thing that has impacted--haunted is the better word--me the most this year. Starting with mom's passing and then losing my job and now the joy of becoming a full-time, stay-at-home mom, I feel like I am watching my life happen before my eyes. The events of this past year are among the handful of defining moments in life. Like it or not, they've happened. Those mile markers have been nailed in the ground.
At our farewell get-together for work, a coworker told me that she had learned from experience that our capacity shrinks or expands to match the responsibilities we have on our plate. I've been thinking about that, and I must admit I've been thinking I'm shrinking. I mentioned above that my mind is now tired at the end of the day, even though I've hardly exerted it much. Nobody wants to feel like she's shrinking, so there's got to be another way of looking at it.
When I found out I was pregnant, a different coworker told me about the challenges she faced as a working mom: She never felt like she could do either job as well as each deserved. She could devote half of her time to IBM and the other half of her time to her kids. Her full-time colleagues were always accomplishing more than she was, while her full-time mommy friends were excelling in motherhood more than she was. She was used to excelling in whatever she did, and now she had to be okay with just being okay.
If both coworkers are right (and I think they are), then I think this must be the healthy way of looking at the recent change in my life: I am not shrinking. I am expanding to really excel at the one job that matters most: Raising another worshipper of Christ.
Whatever I have on my plate, Lord, let me do it well.
Occupation: Mom.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, Lord.

Two bedheads going out for a run