Lasting good

Last week, Will turned four and threw his pacy in the pond in our backyard. Today, I moved too-small clothes out of both boys' drawers and replaced them with the next size up. John started Mother's Morning Out at BayLeaf, and Will now goes to preschool three days a week. Will's adorable vocabulary now sounds more like adult vocabulary: "I didn't realize that, Mom." "Actually, I'd like milk instead." And his little brain is thinking bigger stuff, too: "Why do leaves swirl when they fall off the tree?" "What do kangaroos eat?" "If a tree burns down, how will the squirrels find a new home?" And, these days, John does more than grunt and scream for what he wants. He points and he nods and he says "hot" and "treat" like they're going out of style.

Today, as I was folding John's 12-month clothes to put them in the bag for the attic, I got to thinking: Why does change, particularly my kids growing up, carry with it such a sting of sadness? It's actually totally impractical to feel sad about them growing up because I obviously would never want the alternative. So why do I feel sad?

For a while now, I've noticed when I give Will a treat, he usually always asks: "Will you get more of these for us?" Or when we go somewhere fun, "Can we come back here?" His concern about the lasting nature of his enjoyment always strikes me. He can't enjoy the present until he knows it's going to last. Once I nod, he happily carries on.

We all want good things to last.

Mom confession: I haven't corrected Will when he asks if I'll "do him a favorite (favor)," or if I'll let him push that "bunt (button)," or if he can ride the "ebelator" at the mall.

I want those little bits of adorable goodness to last as long as they can.

Of course I hope and trust the next phase will be as good as this one, but like all things future on this earth, that's unknown.

Just like Will with a bag of M&Ms, at every good phase of my life, I want to be assured. "Lord, can we do this again? Can this goodness last?"

Truth is, Lord willing, my kids are going to grow -- past toddler-sized clothes, mispronounced words, sloshing in mud puddles, obsessions with garbage trucks, even past snuggles and kisses. But thanks be to a gracious God who reminds me today that it's not them I should be clinging to for lasting, unchanging goodness in my life. That's only going to come from Him. The One who never changes. The One whose goodness is truly eternal. To look for it elsewhere will definitely leave me sad, at best.

I pray He'll write these baby phases on my heart in permanent marker, I pray the next phase will bring as much happiness and adorableness as this one. And I pray that the God who never changes will give me contentment and joy with every changing phase of my (and my kids') lives.

(And p.s., For those of you reading this who are thinking, "Man, she just needs to have another baby," -- because I know someone is thinking that -- I said I wanted to stay here. Not go back there. Smile, smile, wink, wink. Love ya, mean it.)

Who wouldn't want to freeze this adorableness:

That is MY kitchen from when I was a kid. Perfect condition for 30 years.
No lie: Will shattered one of the cabinets within 30 minutes. See below.

#boys

Practicing to be in Uncle Derek's wedding

Will's first day of preschool. 3-year-old class.

John's first day of Mother's Morning Out.

Throwing pacy in the pond b/c 4 year olds don't have pacys.
Lord, help us.

Honestly, I don't know why more people don't think to wear
goggles in the bath.

John's first haircut. June 2016

Just a typical afternoon at the Thomsen house