Christmas 2014: Trucks, trains, and tractors!

Better late than never (and because one day far from now, I'm going to want to look back and know when Will's beloved tractor made its debut. Here it is.)

Christmas Eve.
Back at mom and dad's house after a couple of years off.
Mom would want it that way.

All of us upstairs watching old home videos - as tradition requires.

Will's loot. (When we found out baby #2 was a boy, we kinda let ourselves
go crazy on the boy toys.)

Sheer torture, huh, Will?

Breakfast. Again, as tradition dictates.

And then we headed out to the farm to try out Will's new tractor.
When Ryan suggested we buy this thing, I was certain that
Will would not be able to drive it for at least another year.
Boy was I WRONG. Within the first day, he was maneuvering
between trees and backing it up like a pro. It is safe to say:
Will's Favorite Toy Ever. 

The day after Christmas, Jan flew home to NC, and then two weeks later, Ryan, Will, and I moved to the farm. The blog-less months in between are covered here. And now we anxiously await the arrival of sweet baby brother, who, as of today, is one day late. (Maybe that means he'll be laid back like his Dad!)

Thankful.

The blogless months

Working, moving, and chasing a lively two-year old--while pregnant--has taken its obvious toll on this dear blog. (I wish I could say the blog was the only thing bearing the neglect of this well-intentioned but often-tired mama. Sigh, can't we all relate?)

When I look back over the past several (blog-less) months, I am overwhelmed with gratitude over the good things that have busied us. (Yes, we finally moved to the farm, and we love it here. In January, we welcomed Grandma Jan to North Carolina, and in March, I stopped working my part-time IBM job in anticipation of Baby #2, due in just two weeks.) If there's ever been a time of lavish, undeserved grace (let's be honest, there have been many), this is it. At the same time, we've wrestled alongside dear friends whose lavish grace has required a more eternal perspective to see. Our sweet, two-year-old friend Graham has been fighting a long, hard battle in the ICU for months now. New houses and more free time are good, but Jesus is better. We thank Graham and his parents for showing us that. They are teaching us more than they'll ever know.

Since pictures are better than words, I'll welcome myself back to the blog by leaving you with these:

The snow-covered new house.
We moved in the first week of January and got
 two weeks straight of snow and ice in February.

Will thought the snow/ice was more fun than he did last year,
but he still didn't love it. That comes genetically from me, I guess.

Sledding with his next-door-neighbor friend Makayla.

I of course lured him inside in whichever creative way I could.

Playing with Daddy's hats

As a side note, at the playground today, a little boy came up to Will and asked,
"Why are you so happy?"
I love my kid.

Dinner for Drew's bday. (This was the best of about 20 pics. Really.)

Ryan took Will to G-borough to watch his cousins play baseball one
Saturday recently. This is the most grown-up pic of him I've ever seen.
Seriously, where's my baby?

I'll help you with that, Daddy.

When the weather finally cooperated, we had some landscaping done.
The guys left this mound of dirt one day, and Will sat like that for over two hours.
Longest he has sat in one place in his entire life.

Logan even let him ride on the tractor

We've spent every warm minute since January outside.
(I don't have many pregnant pictures of me this time around -
it's not nearly as cute as it was last time, trust me.
A fat-cheeks selfie will have to suffice.)

Aiming to capitalize on Will's love for dirt
(aka, he'll sit still for longer than a nanosecond in its presence),
we set out to create a "dirt box" in the back yard.

He loves it.

My dear, dear friends organized a surprised shower for me.
(Unfortunately the organizer herself--Becca--is the one taking the pic!)
And still yet, some other sweet friends did the same thing, but I have no pic!
What awesome friends I have!

And finally, this is Will and his buddy Graham last summer.
We're praying fervently for our dear friends.

Christmas 2014 post coming soon! Better late than never!

Christmas isn't the same

I put up a Christmas tree this year for the first time in three years. As a kid (and even as a teenager) if you told me I'd go years without putting up a Christmas tree, I would have admitted myself to the mental ward in advance. Surely I was ill.

Truth is, I haven't been ill (per se); I just didn't plan on mom dying at Christmastime.

A woman came up to me at mom's memorial service two years ago and told me Christmas would never be the same again. She knew, because she lost her husband around that same time a couple of years prior.

It was an awful comment, even though she didn't mean it that way. (Still, I tucked away a mental note never to repeat the same offense if a friend loses a loved one at some noteworthy time on the calendar.)

It's obviously a comment I haven't forgotten, and in a sense, my dear naysayer was right.

Christmas isn't the same.

I now have a two-year old who runs to plug in the yites every morning before breakfast; who just can't keep his hands off the low-down ornaments that make mees (music); who has no idea that the doorbell he just heard announced the arrival of his new, very-own train table.

I know this isn't what our well-meaning guest meant when she said Christmas would never be the same, but oh, it's just the beginning of how right she actually was.

The day I lost mom marked a forever change in my Christmases on earth.

And the same thing happened the day I got married, the day I got pregnant, and the day I got pregnant again.

It is true. Our memorial-service visitor was right. Christmas would never be the same.

The cat in the sparkly hula skirt hangs on a sturdy branch near the top of my tree this year, dancing to the rhythm of my house when Will races his dump truck across the floor or slams a door shut. It, like every other ornament I have, is from mom--the year she gave it to me written in black ink on its tail.

Mom's not here, but her ornaments are.

She's not here, but I am.

And a precious, rowdy toddler is, too.

Christmas is definitely not the same.

At the risk of sounding however this sounds, Christmas is different not because it's sad now that she's gone, or because memories of her death now shroud my mind when I hear Christmas music (although those things are true), but Christmas is different because I think I embody her more this time of year than perhaps any other time.

I see the Dewey's stand at the mall and stop to buy a Moravian sugar cake to put away for Christmas morning, just like she always did. 

I drape red beads around my tree, hang an ornament on every, single viable branch, and crown it with Santa Claus, looking so Williamsburg at the top, just like she always did. 

I get dressed for the millionth Christmas party of the season, and before turning out the light in the bathroom, I stop in my tracks because my face and the blush on my cheeks look startlingly like her.

More and more these days, I hear myself talk, I go shopping, I lead Bible study, I decorate my Christmas tree, and I know I'm doing it all just like she did.

Christmas isn't the same. When you become a mom, it changes. When you lose a mom, it changes.

I'm actually grateful for a time of year when I can so obviously embody the mother I've lost while at the same time embrace the motherhood I've gained.

I'm so happy that the Christmas season is back in the Thomsen household. I grieved (ignored, whatever you want to call it) like I needed the last two Christmases, and now I'm ready to embrace the season,

beautiful yites included.

It's a table topper this year only because we are likely MOVING
the day (or so) after Christmas! That's another post, but I
promise a full-fledged tree next year!

(More about Mom's Christmas legacy)

Sunsets and matchbox cars

"The sun's about to set!"

It was the only time the whole week that all of us, simultaneously, stopped. A soapy sippy cup still in hand, I rushed to find my spot by the breakfast nook window, along with Kelly, Kyle, Grams, Whitney, Derek, Ryan, Steve, and Flora. Of course us east-coasters think the sight of the sun setting over the ocean is as rare and beautiful as the Hope diamond, but what I love about my west-coast family is that they still think so, too. The sun setting each evening was the calm to the day's fun chaos, even if we had to trip over matchbox cars and blocks to see it.

We spent the first week of November in California, visiting family, celebrating Thanksgiving early, and attending cousin Brenna's wedding.

In between, we squeezed in a trip to the petting zoo, dinner at the amazing South of Nick's restaurant (where even though I couldn't consume the margarita, just being in its presence made me happy - remember last year's post), walks on the beach, trips to the park, a five-star-two-thumbs-up massage, and sunsets. Oh, those sunsets.

Were it not for Steve and Flora's grandparenting (Flora, that box of trucks? Yes, just yes) and Gigi's amazing generosity and hospitality, Ryan and I couldn't use the words we've been using to describe the trip to friends since we've been back: amazing, restful, fun.

And what did Will think of it all? The pictures speak volumes. But there's one thing I didn't capture on camera that all moms of little boys will understand. You want to know how the trip went for Will? Well, let me mention that Gigi doesn't just live on the beach, she has train tracks directly in front of her house. A train went by probably five times a day. Need I say more about what Will thought of California?

I'll let the pictures say the rest.

The whole airport/airplane thing was much easier this time than last... 

...in part thanks to having his carseat to strap that boy down.

And of course this happened right after the lady told us to prepare for landing.

He got off a plane and got on a bus! Happy boy!

Ahhhh! We're here. (This is the breakfast nook view.)

Petting zoo

Hi, my name is Will.

Just don't ask to take one home. 

These cute cousins were together last Thanksgiving, but they actually acknowledged
each other this year! As you can see...

And here starts the slew of Gigi pictures. Because I adore her,
and I can't decide which pic I like the most.

Post her five-star-two-thumbs-up massage, but you could have guessed that.

Papa the pony

Playing with a backdrop like that? Yeah, Will protested when we got home.

I'll just sleep here in this dog bed. (No, he's not really asleep. This is Will we're talking about.)

I can't remember why he's crying here. Probably because  we
wouldn't let him go down to the ocean at 6am.

How wonderful that we got to see Grandma in Santa Barbara.
Will and Josiah may have missed out on the wedding festivities, but
Grandma and Aunt Robin sure didn't disappoint!

The wedding

One of those CA sunsets

Too bad I'm mid blink.

Oh Ryan. (But still, what a cute pic.)

I only wish I was a part of this movie star pic. Whoa!

The beautiful reception

Only in CA. What a fun tree house. And the trees behind it? Yeah, an avocado orchard.
Ryan's cousin's house. 

On the way home. 

It's still the small things. (Phew! says mommy)