I well remember my interview for a co-op position at IBM. It was in the satellite building off of Chin Page Road. I had driven the route with Dad at least twice before the day of the interview to make sure I knew where I was going. Jim Coughlin was at the other side of the enormous wooden desk that was way too big for the small room we were in. The scene and my emotions were betrayed by Jim's unbelievable softness and kindness. Not long after that day, I got an offer in the mail that made my eyes bulge. Co-ops were paid for every credit hour they had taken, and the pay knocked the Baby Sweet Pea money I earned the previous summer out of the park.
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I can only find a picture of the back of
Jeff's head. |
There were several short times when I was at IBM that Jeff Jenkins was not my manager, but my memory will forever associate him as boss. The Lord's provision was abundant in putting me under Jeff's watch. He and his wife had just had a baby girl when Jeff started as our manager. Jeff was kind. He was your friend, he'd talk openly about IBM and the things he liked and didn't like. He put safety nets around his employees. He had a fierce loyalty to us, and while he pushed me to do things I never would have volunteered to do, he never let me fail. Words aren't sufficient to describe the Lord's kindness shown to me in Jeff.
When I first started at developerWorks, most people worked three days in the office and two at home. Throughout my career, this balance gradually tipped in the other direction, and by the end, I was at home full time. The work-at-home thing never lost its awesomeness. It was one of the best things about the job.
I started off sharing an office with Steve Luyendyk, who was so much cooler than me. And then Denise Ruterbories, who was my loving mother hen throughout my career. Sera Lewis trained me as a co-op. Her, tall, with thick, curly red hair. Far different from me in her outlook on life (just like Steve and so many others), and I'm thankful the Lord had us rub shoulders for a time. My first big project was setting up the new Power Architecture zone on developerWorks with Nora Mikes. I'll never meet another person like Nora as long as I live. She was a freelancer. Although she could have gotten a job at IBM many times, she was not the type to work for a corporation. You could not reign Nora in even if you tried. She bore with my newness and youth in ways that I look back on in amazement. She was in Buffalo, New York, the whole time we worked together. I saw her in person once when we travelled to a conference in California. She since moved to Prague with her husband Dushan and three kids, Amelia, Tony, and Max. I think about Nora sometimes and wonder how she is. She liked to talk to me about The Daily Show with John Stewart. I hadn't even heard of it at the time. She was liberal, free, highly opinionated, just like most everyone else I worked with at IBM.
After a few years, developerWorks moved to building 062 on IBM's main campus. I had an office across the hall from Jeff, and I put up UNC posters and newspaper clippings on my walls as décor and to annoy him. We had lots of fun over the years with the UNC-Duke rivalry and our own respective loyalties. I'll never forget the time I walked into my cube in the 500 complex (my last physical office space) and saw pictures of Coach K's face taped all over my walls.
Another big project I'll never forget is working with Bran Ganesan on business requirements for the big dW offerings. Bran challenged me, in more ways than one. He was smart, and he took me under his wing, and that's when I really started to become confident in my skills as an IBMer. Bran taught me lessons without trying. I'd set up team-wide meetings, and Bran, being Bran, would show up late because he was out to lunch, or another meeting ran over. I was left to man the phone call with a bunch of smart IBMers on the phone, and I prayed they couldn't hear the discomfort in my voice.
Working with Bran is what eventually led to my string of "1" PBC ratings and finally my promotion to Band 8. Usually a promotion is accompanied by a job change, so that's when I left Jeff Jenkins' nest and landed in Denise's. It wasn't a far flight. Denise was a friend. You could tell her anything. Your 1:1s with her consisted of more talk about your personal life than your work life. I was on Denise's team when I led the project I'm most proud of in my IBM career. As part of dW's simplification effort, I created an organization-wide business prioritization process. I was the ring leader of a small team of us (Jeff Lo, Anne Beville, Gary Hamilton), and I took our process on the road and met with managers up the chain and eventually every member of the developerWorks team. I led calls and hung up wondering who that really was who just did that. I was 7 months pregnant at the time, too.
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| Tori, me, Barb, Bran |
On the heels of the Simplification project, in preparing for my maternity leave, I was determined to come back to work after Will was born and keep up my career. I liked it, and plenty of people did both. The Lord led us to the most wonderful nanny, who we lined up to keep Will for the 20 hours a week I was going to work when I came back. Will came, had colic, and then mom died. I did go back to work in January 2013, and Shelly kept Will. During my leave, I had been moved to Bill Innis' team, and along with a handful of others, was told that I had been "hand selected" to remain in IDR while the rest of developerWorks moved to Rational. This move is what the Lord ultimately used to direct my path out of IBM. I was tasked to work alongside Scott Laningham on video production, which I did. Scott was wonderful, but the job was not. The new team really never got off its feet. I started hearing layoff rumors, so I reached out to a friend. His response: "Are you okay with leaving the company? If so, sit tight." On June 12, I got the Sametime and the call from Bill, and he read me the script: "You have been selected to be part of IBM's resource action in efforts to streamline efficiency, etc. etc."
So here's the thing: There is no doubt in my mind that the Sovereign Lord directed my path in terms of leaving IBM. Ryan and I had been talking about it already. By the time we, Lord willing, had two kids, I would certainly not be able to keep up with IBM. When should I leave? At times I really wanted to leave, but how do you leave a well-paying, part-time, work-at-home job at IBM? And there was also the identity part of it for me. I liked being an IBMer and a mom. I didn't (and still don't) want to become the stereotyped stay-at-home mom. I envisioned sweat pants, blogging, and play dates. (And so, three weeks into it, I have in fact become that person. But I'm transitioning. I'll figure myself out of it in time.) Prior to the layoff rumors, Ryan and I met with a long-time IBMer friend over Chick-fil-a one morning to discuss my options. Among other things, he mentioned that I could always wait around for a layoff and then volunteer for it. That way, I'd get the best of both worlds because I'd get to be home full-time, and I'd get the six-month severance. That situation was going to be rare and hard to cook up, though.
Well, the Lord is in the business of rare and hard-to-cook-up situations because not two months after that conversation in Chick-fil-a, my name ended up on a list of layoffs, even without me volunteering. While they were widespread, I was one of just two on my team. My co-workers have been angry on my behalf. I've been telling them that I have no doubt that the Lord directed my path. And I know that's what He did. Why He would choose to be so good to me, I do not know. It humbles and terrifies me because this is the same Lord I rebel against every day. But, He has made my path straight and took away something that I would have had a hard time walking away from on my own. I will miss IBM. I will miss the feeling of being productive and of getting good reviews from managers and peers I respect. I will miss the interactions, and I will miss the identity that being an IBMer gave me. I'm going to miss a lot of things about my ten-year IBM career. I meet with Denise tomorrow to turn in my laptop and my badge. I'm sad about it, but I know underneath that the good Lord has directed my path in no uncertain way, and I'm so incredibly grateful for the wonderful ride it has been.
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| My baby shower hosted by IBM friends |
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